fear factor: the real reality show

i was sitting by myself having breakfast this morning, when this older white couple and a slightly younger woman (younger than the elderly couple) sat at the table next to me. from the conversation that i happened to overhear, i found it ironic that i was obsessively noting factoids about the american criminal injustice system and surveillance techniques from a book i was reading while the older white man was talking about some criminal case. someone got killed. someone got caught by the police. "it was unbelievable." insert gory details. gory details.

as i looked up to ask the waiter for more coffee, my pen fell onto the floor and landed next to the older woman's purse. i used my foot to slide the pen closer to me, and then i leaned down to pick it back up. the older white woman immediately slid her purse closer to her. that's right, ladies and gentleman, it's because little brown girls always want to know what little old white ladies carry in their purses. smelling salts? a tube of ben gay?

i started to think how that reflex reaction to bring her purse closer to her stems from what i believe is the widespread paranoia that white people think that dark people are all out to get them. in my case, it's true. i am out to get them. i want their power. i don't care much for the daily slights that white people give me. i don't care if they believe or recognize the existence of institutionalized racism. i just want them to always keep out of my way whenever i drop my pens and threaten their sense of security.

as revenge, my imagination quickly started conjuring up the background profile of this white couple (kinda like how a cop engaged in racial profiling would do). they probably support their local law enforcement agency, because it's the institution that will protect their manicured front lawn and their matching household knick knacks. they probably believe that america is a true democracy, where if you just abide by the laws of the land, vote and respect everyone's right to be let alone, then you will always get your slice of the american pie.

forget the many layers of disenfranchisement that exist in this "free country"--racist immigration policy, racist criminal injustice system, environmental racism, economic injustice, unequal education, and last but not least, FUCKING DIEBOLD ELECTRONIC VOTING. i always want to fight back the urge to flash the finger whenever people tell me that all we need to solve this country's ills is to VOTE. the way this country is run these days, the system is set up to favor these kind of people to vote for the rest of us, who may not be able to.

to fight the fact that we don't have a free press and an educated populace, and a fair and open election system to create a true democracy, it's going to take a lot more than gambling on a ballot that may or may not be counted. i'm gonna drop more pens.