could you recognize your sister?
i type this in my parents' house, worried that my brother or some other family member will walk in and see my blog or see me blogging. i thought about what i would do if that did happen. i think i'd pull a peter and deny my blog three times. it would go something like this:
what are you reading?
my friend's blog.
oh, you're into that?
well. kinda. i find it interesting.
let me see.
this is when i'd step aside and nervously wait for his reaction.
your friend's a dork. she sounds neurotic. she's cleaning her room, too? do you have a blog that talks about how you clean your room?
no! of course not. whatever. get off the computer.
and with that, my charade would continue. me blog? who? what? my family doesn't have to know, right?
another pointless attempt to know myself
at the dance, all the wallflowers were aligned as such:
i'm in red, standing in the center plotting (or just overanalyzing the situation out of social anxiety).
Take Eysenck's EPQ-R based Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Eysenck's Test Results
|Extraversion (49%) medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, optimistic, and sociable.
Neuroticism (62%) moderately high which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and nervous.
Psychoticism (60%) moderately high which suggests you tend to be offensive, uncooperative, and rebellious.
clean and clear isn't just for acne
"e" commented that i've been displaying clearer thinking since my room is cleaner. i definitely agree. a lot has come into flux in my life due to all the changes i've been making all at once: the healer and this "sweetless" diet, the magnets and no smoking, the room cleaning and organizing, etc. my room was such an example of stagnant chi, and so was my mind. the cobwebs in there were just too old.
it's funny. my roommate has been offering her assistance for the longest time, but i was delaying taking her up on it. i was definitely suffering from "addiction to my affliction." i felt as if i were caught in some time warp and i was refusing to move forward. what was i afraid of? it feels great to be able to walk into my room without stepping over and stepping on hundreds of random objects and discarded ideas.
last night, i got inspired to arrange my ridiculously scattered CD collection thanks to "e" rummaging through it and trying to listen to my stuff. i found out many things about myself:
a) i still
have two copies of parliament's greatest hits in the same single case because i never returned the one i accidentally stole from "t" SIX years ago.
b) almost half of my CD's are in the WRONG CASE, with many cases holding two or three CD's of various artists.
c) i would suck as an information studies major. at most, i could mimic the attire of a "stereotypical librarian," but i would never be able to even categorize myself
in the dewey decimal system. (do they even use this still? i think i just like its alliteration).
d) i shouldn't talk shit about bad folk/jazz CD's that i drunkenly bought from some independent artist at some san francisco jazz festival because my "wine ears" thought they sounded good for a second, and then try and give it away to people in earshot because i'm hoping to de-clutter (dude, i hope you at least liked their easy listening version of "blackbird").
e) i can write some pretty long run-on sentences.
this just in:
as i have more epiphanies with the newly acquired clear thinking, i will try and post them here asap.
i don't like to show my weaknesses too often.
some people don't have too much of a problem showing that they're hurt when they're hurt. i like to hide it away and pretend that i just won the lotto. someday, this will catch up to me and i will probably a) have some unexpected public breakdown or, b) implode and slowly dissolve from cirrhosis of the liver and some other ailment brought on by my addictive tendencies.
but wait... there's hope. and there's also my closet to clean.
my friend, "r," sent this to me. i find it fascinating that some publisher somewhere in the world thought this was something the world needed to read. i'm now organizing the vigilante crew of angry asian women that is going to take the author out back and beat the shit out of him. any asian ladies out there who play softball?