it's over

i just finished middlesex. i cried. it was so fantabulous. now, i'm dreading reading anything else that won't compare. boo hoo. i must now turn to reading about time travel.

huh! go figure...

i suppose my test score on this quiz will explain my current state of (non)affairs:

"How quirkyalone are you?
Your score was 87. Very quirkyalone: Relatives may give you quizzical looks, and so may friends, but you know in your heart of hearts that you are following your inner voice. Though you may not be romancing a single person, you are romancing the world. Celebrate your freedom on National Quirkyalone Day, February 14th!"

today is a new day

i've decided. after looking at the seriousness of my personality disorder test, i've decided that today will be the first day that i try to let go of my obsessive tendencies. i'm going to stay in the moment. here's an inspirational exchange from the fantabulous book that i'm reading right now, middlesex by jeffrey eugenides:

from pp. 453-454 (picador ed.)

He didn't ask the usual questions about my origin and destination. Instead, as we drove off, he asked, "Where did you get that suit?"

"Salvation Army."

"Real nice."

"Really?" I said. And then reconsidered. "You're teasing."

"No, I'm not," said Scheer. "I like a suit somebody died in. It's very existential."

"What's that?"

"What's what?"

"Existential?"

He gave me a direct look. "An existentialist is someone who lives for the moment."

... and so will i, ladies and gentlemen, so will i...

btw, even though i linked to amazon.com here for middlesex, doesn't mean i think you should buy from them. if you're in the LA area, please check out my favorite bookstore, midnight special at their new location on 2nd Street, Santa Monica. if you don't, the world will turn in to an overpriced, and with poor-selection BARNES & NOBLE!!!! UGH!!!!!

lunch sucks at chez infiniti

smoke from an invisible source slowly builds in the kitchen and spills into the air of the dining room. a knock at the door. a phone off the hook. an open bag of frozen edamame on an office chair. burning gyoza on a pan. a pot of boiling water filled with only six pods of edamame. an oven mitt on the dining room table. a flustered wannabe cook shuffling in her chinese slippers (the vogue of last year's summer and fall) between the front door and her bedroom office. an sbc employee standing on the porch smelling the smoke and feeling the guilt of ruining her lunch. "take your time," he says. yeah... since, the shit i cook burns slowly.

full circle

got this message that "h" is moving back. in checking my archives, i realized that soon, the one year anniversary of my blog will be coming up, as well. huh. who knew? according to my personality disorder test, i have a hard time staying engaged in any one thing too long.

"r" emailed me from japan, too. this is the week of friends from christmas past. it's time for me to fly through winter snowdrop nights in my jammies, guided by ghosts. i think i first read the word, "cravat" in "a christmas carol." for some reason, that's what i remember most from that story of ebenezer--other than tiny tim.

it's time for me to shift in my seat as i pass the news to my co-ancher:

in other news: "t" and i are working on a sci-fi short film. i'm excited. i'm ready to leave this world and head into outer space.

don't hate me cuz i'm flawed... personality-wise

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

small steps

i haven't done any work, but i made many baby steps in improving my life. sort of. 1) i got out of bed in time to have breakfast with "f." 2) i sorted my laundry and i'm in the middle of washing load #2. 3) i finally unpacked my suitcase from india. well, most of the contents are spilled out in the middle of the kitchen floor, but i'm just pausing to note these little accomplishments on my blog, right now. 4) i also assembled my clothes drying rack from target. at first, i was intimidated upon opening the box from which it came and finding it not pre-assembled, but i practiced linearity and was able to follow the assembling directions. 5) i also talked to "i" on the phone. she's getting married this fall. october 9th to be exact (if she gets the hall and church in long beach that she's pulling for).

me: so, who am i walking down the aisle with?

"i": well, at first i thought, "m," but he's too tall. maybe, "j," but he's married.

me: married? can't you hook me up with someone cute and single?

"i": how about, "a?" i know you don't like him, but he's single.

me: oh, great! oh, forget it. i don't care. who knows? in eight months, maybe i won't care who i'm walking down the aisle with. don't worry about it.

"i": well, then i'll pair you with "a." you're both the same height, anyway. so who's gonna be your date?

me: i don't know. shit. i got eight months. let me work on it.