there's no such thing as gravity; we all have leadened feet, right?

pant. pant. pant.

desperation is really unattractive. i imagine him being just as sad. the night i said, "goodbye" he kept trying to linger in that magical doorway of "but what if."

"bring your car to the house saturday morning and i'll wash it for you. it'll take only 20 minutes."

i wouldn't even take the free car wash. i'd rather drive dirty and alone. dust clouds fly whenever i kick up my windshield wipers. it brings me back to the calistoga wagons of my past life. i was white, a mother of 5, with the life expectancy of 42--when counting leap years. i was a february baby. (13 july 2000)


where oh where did my dna go?

i've decided. i'm going to flake out (no pun intended) on my medical study tomorrow morning. i originally signed up so that i can get $25 a week to try out this eczema medication, but now. screw 'em. a) i'd have to shuttle between two doctor's offices for every other visit, b) $25 doesn't pay enough for the travel time and inconvenience, and c) i'm too fuckin' busy with my real job that i can't do it. uh uh.

where does that leave me, though? for my initial visit on monday, they took extensive medical samples from me: urine (yes, i'm being graphic. squint here if you must), blood, etc. i realize, now, that i don't want them to have any more info on me. i'm already pissed (really) that my urine is going somewhere other than down the toilet. and my blood! my blood! if i find a new genetically cloned sheep named "dolly" with my likeness, i am gonna sue the fuckers. oh, the folly of gigging it as a medical guinea pig...


you've flown the flag. now what?

the Ad Council now has these internet ads for the fucking department of homeland security that totally play up the american fear factor. only americans would be dumb enough to buy duct tape and saran wrap because some fuckhead from the department of homeland insecurity says so. my god. that's why there's so many twits in office backed up by other dangerous fuckheads. i'm really disgusted with the state of the world these days that i'm cussing like a sailor. i just went to this game store in santa monica that was going out of business. they were selling this family game for "patriotic americans." i think it was some trivia shit. maybe it would ask questions like, "what's the third verse of 'you're a grand ol' flag?'" it's focussing on stupid shit like flag waving from your newly purchased humvee to memorizing lyrics of poorly-written, "patriotic," musical trite that has kept the majority of americans from not batting an eyelash as its renegade government abuses and retracts their civil liberties. "you're a high flying flag."