my fucking luck

i had been up since 3am (after a whopping 3 hours of sleep) working on a grant (one of TWO due today) when a moth found its ways into the burning rays of my halogen lamp. it smells no different than a frying fly. two times this has happened to me in one week. it's deja vu. perhaps there's a break in the matrix. i need to burn more incense.


spam: it's not just processed meat in a can

for my eye8infiniti email account, i get the strangest spam mail. it just goes to show how technology is typically gendered male in terms of the "typical" idea of who uses it. whomever signed me up to the "latest and greatest" news on cheap medication for penis enhancement really doesn't mince words when it comes to targeting my assumed inadequacies. i get messages like:

"how do you compare to the other guys in the locker room?"

or, more presumptively:

"you must be small!"

what a marketing campaign. they really try to suck in their customers with sweet nothings. with all the spam i'm getting, i should start feeling insecure, about now.


get me off this "rim!"

the guy who did supersize me! missed out on this whole ethnic-specific marketing strategy. what world is this? i only got three letters: WTF?!


check my head

tonight, i was sitting in my room for twenty minutes recovering from food poisoning, when i realized that i had been listening to the santa monica city council meeting on kcrw for quite some time. why? i don't even live in santa monica. was i that mentally absent?

i'm struggling with trying to write the grants and applications that i have to write this week without thinking of vomiting. it's getting better, though. i seem to get food poisoning at least twice a year. i'm not sure what my knack is for eating food not quite right. maybe it's a reflection of where i am right now in my life. things are "not quite right." yes, i placed that phrase in quotations as if i were quoting someone else who was telling me this.

i've been neglecting f(r)ictions. i need to push on through until vacation starts.

this thought just in--why are there cheerleaders? i sadly admit that i was one in junior high. the idea baffles me today. do the athletes being "cheered on" really care about the stilted, memorized and rehearsed words of encouragement given by their "dolls in mini skirts?" i remember my friend, susan, once sneezed some pretty big loogie on my leg one day when i was wearing my cheer uniform. the world had stopped at that moment as we both stared at the loogie (sp?) on my thigh. i played it off to save her from embarassment. luckily, it was during science class, so there were plenty of lab station sinks and paper towels to wipe it off... memories... delightful.

i remember during basketball games, i'd have everyone start off with a "rebound that basketball!" cheer (i was head cheerleader, btw, see the blinding rays of shining pride? it's sarcasm... smell it). i don't even know if i knew what the hell a rebound was, nor, was the team in any situation that would require a rebound, either. the folly of my youth (i'm still young, you know.)


a night of anthro 101

i found the missing link.