the answer is: my ass!

pack rats really have a way of rationalizing why they horde the things they do. in cleaning my room, i had to discard four calendars from previous years. i kept them thinking, "the pictures are so pretty. i should keep them for some art project."

the reality? my ass.

those calendars were shoved between the wall and my desk collecting dust over the years. waiting... just waiting to be re-purposed for some crafty idea i never came up with. pack rat possessions are physical evidence of a pack rat's clouded foresight. we keep thinking, "i'll need this one day."

the reality? my ass.

this overhauling of my room is going to be my first big step in trying to be more in the "here and now." if i ain't using it now, or in the immediate future, then it's gotta go.

as all my progressive peeps would say on their bumper stickers, "war is not the answer." so, it is also true that the other answer i must always keep in mind when thinking that i need to keep all the original packaging of my cordless phone because "when i move (in some far, distant, nebulous future) it will make packing it so much easier" is--you guessed it-- "my ass!"

my room is still chaotic

obviously, i'm not cleaning

out of body experience

i just realized that i've been wearing my shirt backwards all day today. all day.

stay on target... stay on target

i'm cleaning my room. i'm not doing some simple dust job and tidy up job. i'm CLEANING my room. i'm a seriously disturbed pack rat. i have a big hefty cinch sak jumbo bag sitting in the middle of my dining room right now that is just filled with recyclable paper/crap. i was upset to find how i thought it necessary to keep magazines from 3 years ago under my desk, when i never had room for my feet under there for the past 2 years.

my room is really in bad shape. i keep saying that cliche, "it's darkest before the dawn." is that even right? i'm still in darkness and i think i will be for awhile.

i had to remove my office chair from the desk in my room, so that i would not be tempted to go on the computer and escape. in fact, i was going to type all this on my knees, but they hurt too much.

i can now see under my desk. i have to be careful to not fixate on this small victory, since i have the tendency to just stare and repeat, "hello! hello!" expecting that an echo will come back to me.

i'm doing the spring cleaning that i should've down every spring for the past five springs i've lived here. oh, hell. i'm a late bloomer.

things insomniacs do at ungodly hours

i bought a progressive-scan "region free" dvd player for $50. with rebates, it will really only cost around $30. shazam!

in other news...

i got a jury summons. frankly, i'm the most subjective, biased civilian you could ever ask for. ergo, i'm unfit to serve on any jury. NEXT!

i should've never asked

i was sitting in my brother's car when i heard some really "happy go lucky" alterna-muzak.

"who the hell is this? james?"

"no. it's travis."

"jesus! i should have my own first name basis band. 'hi. i'm from brad!'"

"i got that, too."

"shut up!"

"no, really. they're a band. i got james, travis and brad."

what the hell?

sue me

i ate a slice of carrot cake on saturday night during a family shindig.

but hey! no smokes since thursday. high five, girls. high five.