god. i'm one of them

so, for the past week, i've been cutting out sugar, carbs, alcohol and frankly, i'm okay. i've had to journal everything i eat in a day. it's depressing. when i hand it to my healer, i can see him reading it and saying, "that's it?"

the big sacrifice is the alcohol. it's not like i was a big bread and pasta gal. i only occasionally would buy sweets like chocolate or ginger gelato, so big whoop. i haven't told him about the smokes, though. i'll just quietly pop my vitamins and abide by the dietary restrictions until i see my healer, again. then, i may mention that i'm a puffer.

what i hate about this diet is having to be a high-maintenance eater at restaurants. this morning, i had to ask for eggs florentine without the english muffin. meaning, i ate poached eggs on a bed of soppy spinach. it was like a mattress on wet carpet. yummy. i bet the waiter taking down my order thought, "oh. another one of those fucking atkins fanatics." why is that atkins shit, so popular, anyway? if anything, the reason america is so overweight is because the land of capitalism was so busy making EVERYTHING cheaper and faster that even the food got "advanced" to a hybrid quality of super-processed shit. it's not just bread... it's SUPER BREAD! i always thought that wonder bread was frightening for a reason.

everything has to be white to be "clean": tissue, toilet paper, tampons, napkins, coffee filters. i should market my own brand of unbleached tampons: "protection for the people (of color). we're taking back our insides from the invading bleached foreign cotton." i wonder how that will sell. maybe, they'll stock it in the "ethnic products" section.

the whole atkins thing sounds like another fad like the overused term, "extreme." a couple of years ago, it was "extreme this!" "extreme that!" "extreme kool-aid!" "extreme band aids!" now, it's "atkins cereal!" "atkins corduroys!" "atkins pasta!" get me "at-of here!" pu DUM BUMP! i hope i don't end up like those overly skinny girls who try to wear hipster jeans, but don't even have any hip or ass to hold them up. they make the world suffer with having to see their ass cracks peering out between their emaciated glutes. yuck. this diet sucks.


You are Eeyore! You are accepting and depressive.
Would never complain about your situation.
Although your situation is awfully gloomy right
now. Could be worse. Some might confuse your
accepting nature with cynicism. Some might
worship you as a god...

Which Winnie the Pooh character are you?
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