let's try, self obsession

i think i'm a bit too obsessed with things that pertain to my life only in relation to other people. i feel like i'm always "interrupting" other people involved in their own work, whereas i'm lacking focus for my own work. why don't we have people interrupt me for a change? why don't i become the monomaniacal, ambitious go-getter that has things going all the time and is first and is foremost dedicated to my own work? granted, i do have a lot of things going on in my life, but i don't think i've dedicated the necessary amount of time to let those projects flourish. shit. when was the last time i finished a film? i need to go into hibernation and do my shit. i was thinking of going up north next week. i think instead, i'll travel in my mind and create something new. and... i'll do it by my lonesome because other people will distract me and make me want to be engaged in what they're doing instead of what i'm doing. i'm rambling... i hate being such a mental multi-tasker. i need to be an active multi-doer. that's right world. screw you (well, until i get my shit together). i'm praying for a coup d'etat. hi ashcroft!


i need to digest

i finally saw "donnie darko." aside from the hard core 80's music flashback, i remembered how i used to be obsessed with time travel as a kid. i know that "v" wrote about the film in reference to time travel. i need to go through his archives to read it again.

after seeing "somewhere in time," i remember wanting to find 1975 pennies to go back in time. i'm not surprised that the writer/director of "donnie darko" was an 80's kid, too.


from the war archives (previously unpublished)

i make this post sound like the rare and exclusive finding of elvis's missing underpants. really, it's just an intended blog entry that i forgot to post and instead, left on one of the numerous stickies on my computer desktop. my computer desktop is as messy as the desk on which my computer sits. though it was from a couple of months ago, it almost seems as if someone else (someone else as pissed as i am) wrote it:

what have we hit now? msnbc gives "military minutes" where military targets of the past day are reviewed like cold weather fronts and high pressure systems. flashy graphics pose questions like, "will the terrorists retaliate?" "where is saddam?" "you have the questions; we'll continue to bring you the answers." what's the answer to my question?

"how many propagandist catch phrases will i hear during this broadcast?"
"how happy would our fallen troops be if they knew they were dying for halliburton, exxon and mobil?"
"when will my oldest friend in the world get to get off her death boat in the gulf and come home?"

just as the u.s. drops more bombs than all that were dropped during "daddy's war: part I," corporate controlled media outlets bombard the general public with mindless details of military strategy and technology that boasts of "accuracy" and "precision," so that we can a) get inspiration for our apathy, cuz "we've got it covered. the war's so accurate, it ain't no thang." or b) get bored and listless and longing for "who wants to be a millionaire?" or better yet, "america's mind-numbing idols." little coverage is given on the ramifications of the U.S. using depleted uranium warheads that will ensure generations more of iraqi children developing disproportionate cases of leukemia and other cancers. what about the bunker busters and their "awesome" ability to poison water wells? newscasters sound more like sports commentators giving enthusiastic play-by-plays of death and destruction... when will this fucking game end? i'm waiting. i'm waiting for this dark and sickening lesson to end. ENOUGH!