clean and clear isn't just for acne

"e" commented that i've been displaying clearer thinking since my room is cleaner. i definitely agree. a lot has come into flux in my life due to all the changes i've been making all at once: the healer and this "sweetless" diet, the magnets and no smoking, the room cleaning and organizing, etc. my room was such an example of stagnant chi, and so was my mind. the cobwebs in there were just too old.

it's funny. my roommate has been offering her assistance for the longest time, but i was delaying taking her up on it. i was definitely suffering from "addiction to my affliction." i felt as if i were caught in some time warp and i was refusing to move forward. what was i afraid of? it feels great to be able to walk into my room without stepping over and stepping on hundreds of random objects and discarded ideas.

last night, i got inspired to arrange my ridiculously scattered CD collection thanks to "e" rummaging through it and trying to listen to my stuff. i found out many things about myself:

a) i still have two copies of parliament's greatest hits in the same single case because i never returned the one i accidentally stole from "t" SIX years ago.

b) almost half of my CD's are in the WRONG CASE, with many cases holding two or three CD's of various artists.

c) i would suck as an information studies major. at most, i could mimic the attire of a "stereotypical librarian," but i would never be able to even categorize myself in the dewey decimal system. (do they even use this still? i think i just like its alliteration).

d) i shouldn't talk shit about bad folk/jazz CD's that i drunkenly bought from some independent artist at some san francisco jazz festival because my "wine ears" thought they sounded good for a second, and then try and give it away to people in earshot because i'm hoping to de-clutter (dude, i hope you at least liked their easy listening version of "blackbird").

e) i can write some pretty long run-on sentences.

this just in:

as i have more epiphanies with the newly acquired clear thinking, i will try and post them here asap.

i don't like to show my weaknesses too often.

some people don't have too much of a problem showing that they're hurt when they're hurt. i like to hide it away and pretend that i just won the lotto. someday, this will catch up to me and i will probably a) have some unexpected public breakdown or, b) implode and slowly dissolve from cirrhosis of the liver and some other ailment brought on by my addictive tendencies.

but wait... there's hope. and there's also my closet to clean.