nevermind the comeback; continue the going

my grandmother in the philippines loves this phrase and i love her for it. there are many people in this world that i'd like to damn to hell on this eve of war, but i've decided that i'm going to proact. right now, i want to think of my oldest friend in the world--(and for an admitted friend gigola, this means a lot) "h." i want to think of her because i need to remember to call her husband tomorrow if we go to war. i need to make sure he's not punching another hole in the wall, and that he's keeping it together. i need to think of her because she's on some death boat in the persian gulf right now wishing she were home dancing and being stubborn about how she doesn't believe in god and how her black belt ass kicking self was always better suited for the dance floor and not for polyester military garb. i sent her an e-mail saying that i'll be waiting for her in august to attend a high school reunion where we can both drop $70 to reunite with people we never cared to see over the past 10 years. but, tatay says she probably hasn't received it yet--personal e-mails are being prohibited to active military personnel. i need to think of her because i hope she comes home safe and alive before the men of the world really fuck us up for another 20 years to only realize that patriarchy never pays, and that exerting presence like those male beetles with large protrusions jutting out at that entymology museum i once visited, never give presence but takes away. i hope she comes home a veteran of other things in life. already, she's a veteran ex-smoker, a veteran ex-objectionist society student (yes! she dabbled in ayn rand) and an ex-almost christian (i believe she attended one meeting out of curiosity and got the shit scared out of her. i bet it was holy shit.) i just hope she doesn't have to add "government-ordered killer" to her resume. and about her other exes... i remember how she dated a clown--really, a clown--named juju--really, juju--and how she dated some woman who got lost in japan to "find herself." i don't know if she ever came back. she may still be looking...

(this is an aside) i thought garth was playing bob marley and sounding somber on the air because we may be killing people on the other side of the world tomorrow. instead, he's admitting to food poisoning... ("i feel like poop."--not much for the imagination there, garth!)

it's amazing how someone's downs can give you a momentary "up."

about "h," again. i remember "h" when she begged me to take her out dancing even with a concussion the day after being run off the 405 by a hit and run asshole. (i still curse that driver wherever you are!) i also remember how she lived below PAT BUCHANAN'S running mate, and how she hated "h." oh, well. she obviously didn't win; she failed to "press the flesh" with my friend. i want to remember all these things about "h" right now, because i'm going to have so much to talk to her polyester ass when she comes home to pull pirouettes on my wooden floor and blab to everyone about how crazy i am and "how i can't believe" you were my reference to get into the armed forces:

recruiter: is there anything about "h" we should know that may give us doubts as to her loyalty to the U.S. government?

me: (chuckling--to whom does this fool think he's talking? where's the artifice and intrigue? the trick questions? the deep investigation?) uh... no.

may bush&co. rot in hell. PEACE (really... PEACE)