rejection: i'll try and spare you the cliche morosity

i received my rejection letter from calarts today. i had just opened my front door and seen the "CalArts" envelope on the floor. i barely had the strength to open it because i was having one of my "gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now" urges for the bathroom. as soon as i read the first cliche line, "we regret to inform you..." i thought for a second, "an art school known for advancements in the creative realm would use canned language?" i immediately started to panic. i only applied to two film schools. now, i have to bite my fingers and wait for the outcome for the second program...

the gloves are off.
i must indulge myself and post my musings as to why i got rejected right now and you can mentally say to yourselves as you read the following, "but that's not fair," all right?

1. they reached their minimal quota for brown people on campus that's right. with a school 20 miles north of a predominately latino metropolitan center, their ethnic demographics "boast" of 69% caucasian, 10% latino (for a majority to still be the minority in major educational institutions is a sad, sad sign of things not changing for the better), 11% asian-american (and for my kababayan, we all know that not all asians are made the same with the same privileges or disadvantages), 6% aftrican-american, and 4% divided between native american and "other." let's just say that not too many people can walk around on that campus without sunscreen.

2. my dramatic ritual of asking the magic 8 ball for positive "you may count on it" or "without a doubt" answers to my, "am i gonna get in?" questions were all for naught--the readings i was given were just plain wrong.

3. god's trying to tell me something. s/he's saying, "honey, you really don't need to spend $30K a year for the next 3 years of your life, right now."

4. well? i think that's all i can think of right now before terminally falling into the abyssmal abyss of, "bitter? party of one? bitter? party of one? we got the back corner table facing the corner." (thank you, "a," for giving me this jewel of a joke. now, why the hell haven't you responded to my e-mail from 2 years ago? perhaps, the closure will come in a posting under "missed connections.")

so there. i will sulk for a bit tonight, march for peace tomorrow and then get on with the rest of my "unsinkable molly brown" life (minus the later-in-life outlandish behavior of the film's star).