my mom wanted me to watch, "bowfinger," for the "keep it together!" words of encouragement

today i met with a university professor to discuss the possibilities of collaboration between the fledgling no-operational-budget women of color media collective with which i work, and their academic program geared towards training college students in doing media work within "the community." (notice the ambiguity with which i discuss nouns like "university," "program," and "collective" in order to maintain my own anonymity?)

such a collaboration b/w a university with access to only-in-my-dreams resources and small grassroots orgs like the one with which i work can be really tricky. i never believed that the solution to anything like the "digital divide" would be to just give disenfranchised communities access to a computer and/or a camera. that would just be buying into the big fat myth that what the world needs now, is a cheap-ass gateway computer that will conk out within a year. i also don't think that a viable solution necessitates having some college kid from the 'burbs going into the "ghetto" to show off fancy computer technology, either. but, what should that look like and how do you say that to established academics in an easy-going, "nice to meet you for the first time" manner?

i did it my way
i arrived 20 minutes late to the meeting because i forgot to warn the people with whom i was meeting that i have a wonderful sense of dis-orientation. i can't seem to orient myself out of parking structures... STRIKE ONE.

i was also nervous that people wouldn't take me seriously because i looked a bit disheveled coming from a full-day's work with blotchy skin from stress acne. STRIKE TWO? no. BALL ONE. who cares what i looked like? the first half of the meeting consisted of watching video demo tapes in the dark! (it's not what they see; it's what i say.)

professional professional vs. professional comedienne
out of nervousness and out of shyness, i'm accustomed to resorting to quirky humor that oftentimes signals to people, "don't take me seriously," even when i want them to do just that. thank god i have a natural tan because i kept blushing whenever i spoke, but i could "raise my hand" cuz i was sure they couldn't see it underneath my melanin (d'ya see what you're missing, michael jackson? never let them see you red! now, go grab back that natural tan!). today, i did away with the stand up routine and told them like it is: this is what i do; so, is that what you do? how can we do, together? the conversation actually took over two hours, but i was able to "keep it together!" without resorting to a nervous witty quip or unbecoming guffaw. i'm hoping this is the beginning of a wonderful partnership (picture this: mr. university man and i are walking off in the distance while nodding and talking, and not once! does he see me red!)