my godfather passed away last night at home. we found out through a phone call. i immediately thought of my godmother and wondered what their house looked like right now. when i visited him in the convalescent home before he left the country for the last time, he played a DVD of last year's christmas in the philippines. he liked to collect christmas miniatures of lighted houses and people in snow-covered village settings. in the video, my godmother would just set up a fixed camera that just captured the two of them doing mundane things like winding up some of the miniatures to play music, or arranging them on the table. nothing more elaborate would happen on this video, but i knew why she recorded it. it's sometimes the most mundane and little things about a person that you miss the most, since they're the things you see the most often--more so than special occasions you shared, anniversaries, etc.. and maybe that's what she wanted to make sure she kept as a memory of my godfather--him shuffling around in slippers, a tank top and pajama pants with his chemotherapy bald head.

i wondered if the house was all set up again like he liked. my mom told me to say three prayers each night for him, "it might help him, you know." i used to be terrible at memorizing catholic prayers. i would always mumble through rosaries and fake it to my catechism teacher when we would have to say anything in unison. over the phone today, i tried to retain the words my mom wanted me to say for his passing spirit. hopefully, i can overcome my fumbling and help send him somewhere, anywhere that may put him to rest in peace.

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