but wait... there's more
so, i was filling out this online survey on the daily mundane, when the phone rang. the man on the other end sounded like a wannabe talk show host with a forced perfection in his voice. he struggled with my name when he asked, "may i please speak to ms. (insert last name spoken with a drawl of uncertainty about whether he was pronouncing it right)?" i thought it might be a telemarketer so i did my out-of-body experience lying of, "wait, one second." i put him on mute and wondered. how long should i pretend i'm getting "ms. what's her name?" i decided to make it quick and i changed my voice to make it sound huskier, like i had a cold. it turned out it was the shuttle company that's picking me up at the buttcrack of dawn tomorrow. they wanted to confirm the pick up. the guy didn't know how to spell my street name, so i had to help him out in my faux voice. i wonder if he bought the idea that i was two different people. oh, hell. who cares?
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